I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
