its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
