No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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