Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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