Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
