i think my mom watched the whole time
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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