Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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