It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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