I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
