im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
