6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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