I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
