it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
