you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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