I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
