its not stalking. its research.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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