Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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