I just cut my nipple shaving
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I supernannyed him into submission
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
