You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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