you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I wear drunk well.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
