I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize