Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
