That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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