Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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