Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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