don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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