I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
