Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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