so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
