YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize