so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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