Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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