i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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