i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
people are starting to question the shark bite story
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
