Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
