I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
