You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
