Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize