I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
