Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
