I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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