Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
