I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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