your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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