Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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