He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
