I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize