I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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