I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize