I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
