new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
