dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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