Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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