let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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