I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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