just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
