The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I could fuck to npr.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
