That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
